thelaD hun Jingeet

Let us get straight to the point. It has been a very bad year for critters on this highway. So, without any additional ruckus,… and again, not for the squeamish….
“Fresh Kills 2001” or “More Dead Things Sighted Through My Windscreen”.

2000 2001 Change

Dogs 54 69 27.8%
Cats 36 42 16.7%
Mongeese 24 39 62.5%
Goats 18 19 5.6%
Cows 16 9 -56.3%
Pigs 5 0 -100.0%
Chickens 5 3 -60.0%
John Crows 3 5 66.7%
Other Birds 1 10* 1000.0%
Rodents 1 1 0%
Snakes 1 0 -100.0%
B.F. Frogs 0 1 n/a
Sheep 0 1 n/a
Sharks 0 1 n/a
Humans 0 1 n/a
Donkeys 0 0 0%

Total Dead Things 164 201 22.6%

Finally! Trends in mortality! [Graph not included]

Still, without a few more years of data, I can only make slightly better generalizations regarding these trends than I did last year. Clearly, I can see that mongeese deaths have increased at a faster rate than those of dogs. Does this mean that the total population of mongeese is up, or are they just getting stupid?
However, if changes in intelligence are what accounts for changes in the rates of terminal whacks, then what could have possibly gotten into the cows? Fifty six percent smarter? Cows? Not hardly, but it is the only theory I have today.

There are a few newcomers to the list this year. The BF Frogs are not at all surprising in their inclusion, but slightly surprising in their small numbers. Most Jamaicans hate frogs, big and small, with both passion and zeal, and would prefer them all dead. There is probably an old folk reason for this dislike, stretching back to Africa, where and when monstrous amphibians ruled the countryside. Although I am not a big fan of giant-sized marauding humongo-toads myself, I do like the song of the way smaller tree frog, whose cricket-like chirping accompanies the night.

The sheep was just a matter of time. Not that there is a large sheep population here (“mutton” at the very excellent local Indian restaurant means goat), but there is a small flock immediately adjacent to a portion of the realigned roadway between White Gut and Sandy Bay. Since sheep resistant fences have yet to be installed here, there is nothing to shackle the sheep, and they flock about the roadway, where high speed doom awaits.

Many moons ago, I had predicted that this road was going to be on the unfortunate side of hazardous. Sadly, there is no precedent on the north coast for the type of facility which we are trying to construct. As such, both four wheeled and four legged users do not yet grasp the changes in attitudes and actions required to survive an encounter with it.

Even on the more populated south coast, where sometimes the roads have four lanes (ooooh!), there is unbelievable carnage. A few weeks ago, amidst great fanfare, the Prime Minister opened the new Old Harbour Bypass, which has cut travel times around that town from well over an hour to much less than fifteen minutes.

But at what cost?

So far, the cost is reported to be at least one cow and a few goats each night. So it would seem that our local country cows have a much better chance of survival than their more sophisticated city cousins. To the detriment of the southern cows are the considerably larger traffic volumes, and more manic taxi drivers.

By this, I mean more manic and more of them.

Sharks are a very unexpected newcomer to the list this season, although I imagine that this particular occurrence will end up as an asterisk over time. An anomaly of a fluke, perhaps, but not a figment. The shark felt real enough through my boot as I kicked it upright for measurements and a couple of photos.

It was a reef shark, common locally, quite dead, and just less than a meter and a half in length. It appeared one morning on the shoulder on a part of the completed roadway near Maggotty. I doubt that it swam there, but I suppose some bizarre water spout or freakish wave could have lifted the creature from its home waters and plopped it down 150 meters from the sea. My favorite speculation is that the shark was caught by one lucky angler and, while being transported to market in the back of a pickup, it put forth one last attempt to regain its freedom, scaring the snot out of the local who had bummed a ride in the bed, who ejected the fish immediately for fear that it would take his arm off.

I hate to think that the shark was killed simply for being a shark, with no regard for the ten kilos of tasty flesh it would have supplied. But worse and stranger things have happened, do happen, and will happen. This is Jamaica, after all.

The Other Birds column gets an asterisk due to the fact that I bonked one of them with the Magadogomatic. Better bird than goat, methinks.

Human was on last years list, but had a count of zero. Although this sort of death is common, I only include personally witnessed data. In this case, an arm hanging out from under a sheet, covering the laborer who had been run over by a motor grader a few hours prior. The contractor claims that the reverse horns on his equipment were working properly at the time, but I have my doubts. Safe work practices are not the first item on any of our contractors to-do lists. Rollers, backhoes, and dump bodies are common crew conveyances, as the employers’ acceptance of worker safety and associated liabilities is quite limited.

This former laborer (and former assistant grader operator) was the third project related fatality in as many months, and the fifth since the project began. In one instance, a trench cave-in crushed a laborer, who succumbed to his injuries once transferred to the regional hospital in Montego Bay. In another, a violation of a flagman’s clear instruction to stop resulted in a head on collision which killed only the violator. And, a couple of years ago, two cops were killed at the very end of a high speed pursuit when they failed to yield the right-of-way to a stationary pneumatic tired roller.

Prior to this, my projects have had spotless safety records. Maybe I can give this particular job an asterisk later on.

Anyway, for lack of a better theory, intelligence will be the determining factor. As such, donkeys are still the dominant species. Go figure.

Despite the preceding speculation, what I know for sure is that the 22.6% change in total slaughter equates roughly to the increase in violent homicides across the island (up about twenty-five percent to over eleven hundred in the past year). Is this the pattern? Is it an island wide growth of violence against both man and beast? Must I conclude that tougher times will yield a tougher existence?

Eat and be eaten?

Death in the jungle.