Duck, duck, duck

At first, I just barely noticed something soft on the roadway. Something out of the ordinary mix of commuting cars and pickups and occasional heavy vehicles that drone unceasingly across my view of the expressway outside my office.

In the days before elevators, I suppose the ninth floor would be a "high rise" structure, but now it's just another pile of bricks and glass that abut the highway leading downtown. As cube farms go, it could be worse. It's not one of those prairie dog communities, where just the heads of the curious can be seen popping up above the bland fabric walls. It's not a bull pen either, where the unmitigated click and clatter of modern business machines drowns out attempts at sustained critical thought. No, it's a long space, and the cubes are rarely more than three units away from the continuous bank of windows that line the north wall of the building.

The structure and organization is akin to a goat farm, where seniority and privilege gets you the best trash and a spot at the top of the heap, overlooking all the other goats, the kids relegated the safety of the interior. Cube farm livestock references aside, I gets me a window seat. From a transportation engineering perspective, it works out pretty well, as there are plenty of examples just outside that I can use when in search of a supporting illustration. There's the design and relationship of the freeway with adjacent ramps, frontage roads, railroad, local streets and parking lots. There's the use of bridges signage, signaling and lighting. There're utilities, landscaping, safety considerations and maintenance. There's wildlife crossing eight lanes of traffic.

The out of place soft thing is a goose, on the freeway, walking down the westbound HOV lane. A hood ornament in training. And I'm wondering - he can fly, so why bother with city traffic? As he waddled out of the rush of cars and leapt atop the median's concrete barrier, I noticed the top eight inches of so of a second goose, just on the other side of the barrier and just downstream of the first bird. Then a burst of pale yellow, as a gosling ran into the fast lane, had second thoughts, and ran back to the median, cheating death. The existence of non-flying youngsters could explain all the walking.

By this time, much of the department is at the window, watching the drama through binoculars. And at about this time, the first goose decides to hop off of the barrier, and complete his stroll across the freeway, something I'd be very hesitant to do myself without suitable traffic control devices in place. But, after a couple of false starts and heart stopping delays midstream, there was a live goose across the road, working his way up the Xenia Avenue off ramp.

The second goose had abandoned her brood in favor of following the drake and was looking for an opening in traffic when the first Golden Valley patrol car arrived on the scene. Then, with herding skill I only though possible by Australian bush pilots, he drove up real close and laid out a sqwaak on his siren, forcing the bird to flight - over the eastbound lanes to join her mate.

Then, in the company of another Golden Valley squad car and a State Trooper, the three public safety officers stopped all traffic in the westbound lanes while one of the cops waddled after the goslings, caught them both, and sequestered them in the caged rear seat of his car. The cops must have had some assistance from citizens in another of the neighbouring offices because the birds' release was in an open and partially flooded field just across the Interstate, where the parents had flown during the ruckus and where this wayward family had probably started their day.

Another job well done by Golden Valley's finest.

So it goes. What started as just a brief glance at something out of place resulted in about twenty minutes of misdirected effort. I must confess, though - the geese were not my first concern. No, Minneapolis drivers are predominantly idiots, and would more likely swerve into the side of an eighteen wheeler than whack a sky pig. I was just waiting for the pile up. Read More......