Accommodations

We have finally completed the sale of our Crocker Township property. It certainly took longer than either of us anticipated, and was more annoying than I could have imagined.

When we decided to move to the Greater Antilles, we had to somehow dispose of our house in the States. One option was to rent the place. We found a property manager and had a couple of rental prospects, but decided against this plan for a number of reasons. Primarily was the fact that our home and grounds were a maintenance intensive property, and there was no way we could depend on a renter to care for the place in the appropriate fashion. We wanted to return to a house in the same condition as when we left it and, after eight years of continuous effort, I think it looked nicer than it had since the 40's. Why would a tenant spend four hours a week on the yard? Why should a tenant spend four hours a week on the yard?

So we decided to sell. I hear that selling by owner can work, but we probably needed more time, and we definitely needed a better understanding of house marketing. After two weeks of intensive walk-throughs but with no offers, our departure clock loudly ticking, we contacted a realtor friend of ours, and put his sign in the yard.

The first offer came that day [conspiracy] from the developer largely responsible for our increasing number of neighbors. I have no doubt that he would have carved the parcel into pieces, so it is probably fortunate that we did not reach an agreement.

Next was a couple from Des Moines, who needed a larger place for themselves and their two girls. He worked nearby. They seemed nice enough. They made an acceptable offer. We expected to close the Monday before we left town, but we learned on Tuesday that the couple had purchased a new truck, on credit, the Saturday before, effectively eliminating their bank’s approval for the mortgage. All of a sudden, the nice couple turned out to be a couple of Morons, and I no longer wanted to sell them our house.

Fortunately, in the same call where we were informed that we had Morons for buyers, we learned that there was another couple interested.

Meanwhile, the movers are scheduled to arrive on Thursday and Friday, and we have yet to finalize what goods are traveling by air, by sea, or only to storage. As a result of our effort to prepare for them, the house is neigh unto shambled, with boxes everywhere packed to various levels, and piles and stacks of whatnot in every room. I thought we were sold, so I had delayed and neglected any type of yard work.

Throughout the time we were trying to lure a buyer, we had kept the house spotless, cleaned, pressed, shampooed, and well manicured. Now it was a wreck, more like usual, and I had a tour to give. The Fates do this sort of thing to test my resolve.
Couple number two arrived for their tour right on time. I decided that I liked them better than the Couple of Morons. Both Alpha Geeks, they wanted a place in the country located between their programming jobs in Ames and West Des Moines. As high earning renters, they had no house to sell and a boatload of cash to put down. I liked them more all the time. It seemed as if they liked the house, too.

The husband seemed amused as the wife told me of her plans to construct a “Woodhenge”. She seemed quite pleased when I showed her my monuments aligned to the rising solstice sun. I knew then that they would make an offer [perhaps it is time for the Pagan Real Estate Network].

The offer came the next morning, but there was one problem, disguised as a couple of Morons. Apparently, the nonrefundable earnest money in Iowa is refundable. We could not just take their US $1,000.00 and deal with the new folks, but had to first give the Morons notice that they had not satisfied their half of the contract, then give them opportunity to remedy the situation, then (ultimately) give them their deposit (if we were still in town, I would have fought this until I had spent US $1k in attorney fees). The closing got moved to after we were out of the country. In fact, when we left town, we did not know to whom we were selling.

Eventually, the resolve of the Morons to move to the country withered and, by the end of July, final papers were signed.

“Hey”, you might be exclaiming if your reading comprehension skills are in the eighty fifth percentile, “if they closed on the house in July, how come I’m not getting this diatribe until the middle of October?”

The reason for this, gentle readers, is that we only sold most of the land to the Geeks, but not all of it. The quarter hectare behind our eastern neighbor we sold to him. John is a great guy. He let me use his lawn mower. He has some funky power tools. He watched over the place when we were out of town. He has a friendly dog. He needed more space for a pole barn. Plus, selling him a portion of our lot should not adversely affect the character of either parcel, but would reduce the possibility that our old place would be further divided.

Sadly, the Power of Attorney we left with Bryan covered the sale of the entire parcel, but did not cover the sale of a portion of it. Once this minor point was discovered, we were sent the documents to sign in Jamaica, to be witnessed by a notary, a local attorney who, after payment of JA $500.00, gave us his signature, stamp, embossed seal on one of those gold foil stickies, and sent us on our merry way.

Now we are finally homeless.

Additionally, for the first two months here, we had no lease, and the Company sent no rent check, so we were squatters, too. That has since been resolved.

Now we are just homeless, but homeless in the Caribbean.