Acronyms

A couple times day, I'm subjected to someone saying that some task or another "isn't rocket science." I imagine the point is that rocket science is still a difficult task, at least, more difficult than rebuilding Iraq. Another phrase we use internally, salvaged from the last time we were here, is "Enough of that, I've got a country to build." I'm that good. Honest.

And it ain't rocket science (as our search for WMD's discovered).

Perhaps what would help is a few "600 pound brains", which was the personnel requirement of an Army Colonel for those slated to join his staff at the JROC (Joint Reconstruction Operations Committee). After all, in a "fully developed theatre", we should be able to get whatever we need.

Learning the language is one of the first hurdles to hit you here, and one of the hardest to overcome. It's not so bad when real words are used in new and interesting ways ("dogs are a vector for disease"), but the unending stream of acronyms is the true language barrier. There're acronyms for everything - from equipment, to programs, to groups of persons, and they're everywhere and all the time.

There's so many, in fact, that if I could learn a fresh fifty each day, I still couldn't learn them all by month's end. I've got a couple of lists for reference that include roughly 1500 distinct usages, from AAR (After Action Review/Report) to ZADCO (Abu Dhabi Gas Industries, Ltd.). Beyond that are the acronyms that aren't on these lists for whatever reasons, plus those that are made up on the spot (TBD).

They're time savers, I suppose, conserving effort and precious seconds when speaking and writing. For example, it's much easier to say MNSTC-I ("min-sticky"), than it is to say Multi-National Security Transitional Command - Iraq. Likewise with IMPACS, the Institute for Media, Policy, and Civil Society.

Sometimes, you just have to say the letters. Like with SVBIED, Suicide Vehicle Based Improvised Explosive Device, or with JCCIA, the Joint Contracting Command - Iraq/Afghanistan.

Sometimes it's a mix of abbreviations and acronyms, like SOCCENT ("Sock Cent") for Special Operations Command, Central, or OCONUS for Outside the Continental United States. I suppose to use the real words instead of the abbreviated versions would add about 50% to the length of each meeting.

Sometimes it's out of control, like with the USAJFKSWCS, the United State Army John Fitzgerald Kennedy Special Warfare Center and School. Fortunately, they aren't opening a dozen satellite classrooms as a part of the education reconstruction efforts, or we'd have to add some regional designation onto the end of an already too long jumble of letters.

Quite weird is the IUP, which is really an acronym made up from the acronyms IRMO, USAID, and PCO. However, IRMO just reorganized as ITAO, so the overall acronym won't change, just the underlying acronyms. Simple!

What a few of us are looking for, though, are acronym verbs. The local acronyms mostly describe nouns (GBU - Guided Bomb Unit), occasionally adjectives (INJ - Injured), sometimes a transitional phrase (IOT – In Order To), but very rarely verbs (DOW - Died of Wounds). The goal, of course, is to be able to put together complete sentences without using many words at all, to whit: EKIA (GSW) by IDF from COIN CO of IP (Enemy killed in action (gun shot wound) by indirect fire from counter insurgency commanding officer of Iraqi Police).

Sure, my acronymic language skills are rough today, but give me a couple of weeks. Regardless, it's easier than learning Arabic, and if I get tired of the AEPs (Acronym Education Periods), there's plenty of other catchy phrases and terminology that I can work to better understand. For instance,

I need to comprehend "management by wishful thinking."
I must learn what's "less than a glimmer of hope?"
I must master "configuration management."
I should already know that "deconflicted" means "conflicted."
I must recognize the "demand signal."
I must realize that "nothing here is permanent."
I must identify the "belly button."

Upon first seeing this last one in a document authored by a Submariner, I'd assumed it was a Naval term, but have now learned that it refers to the SPOC, or single point of contact.

Through it all, though, I've learned one thing - "IRMS is more than IRFF".

Yessir.