Wednesday, 10 December 2003

14:30 – Baghdad. Due to an intel snafu, my ride from the 95th failed to pick me up from the Ministry, and I had to beg a ride back to the CPA with a couple truckloads of Brits. The immediate effect was that I returned to the supposed Green Zone too late for chow, so I returned to my desk for lunch. As is the rule at the PMO, I shortly submitted my four to five hundred word review, as follows.

In my family, few meals say "Happy Birthday" as well as hot, fresh, and tasty Italian cooking. So I was not at all displeased with my random choice from the MRE crate, Menu Item number 23, "Chicken with Cavatelli". But what I found inside the brown plastic bag was way more than I could have ever wished for, not just "Chicken with Cavatelli", but "Breaded Chicken Breast Patty with Pasta Shells in Tomato Sauce with Rib Meat", packed by the Wornick Company of Cincinnati, Ohio.

This is just what I craved, and could barely contain my expectation for the 12 minutes I gave the water activated heater to work its magic. The chicken was firm and lightly breaded, and only partly reminded me of a soggy McNugget. The pasta was suitably al dente, coated with a mild yet flavorful sauce interspersed with minced garlic (garlic, water, phosphoric acid), dehydrated onions, and oleoresin paprika. For more interest and pizzazz, I added the 1/8 ounce of included Tabasco. [Fat: 11 grams. Carbs: 30 grams. Calories: 280.]

The "Wheat Snack Bread" was next [Fat: 5 grams. Carbs: 25 grams. Calories: 180.] coated with "Fortified Peanut Butter" or PNB [Fat: 19 grams. Carbs: 9 grams. Calories: 260.]. Frankly, I couldn't eat much of this, having just consumed a bag of cavatelli. Also, it's all a bit dry, and my beverage was almost gone. Well, maybe one more bite.

I was momentarily tempted to relight my candle for the "Spice Pound Cake" [Fat: 12 grams. Carbs: 36 grams. Calories: 280.] but, while Miles probably would have easily been convinces to sing Happy Birthday again, I think this may have just worked to annoy Brian, so I ate my cake in silence.

Barely lucid at this time, I could only stare dumbly at the bag of pretzels [Fat: 1 grams. Carbs: 22 grams. Calories: 110.]. Save them for later.

The entire meal was eaten with a spoon or by hand and washed down with a half litre of water in which was mixed "Beverage Base Powder Orange", a Tang-like powder reminding me of how truly space age these pre-packaged, stay-fresh-for-years meals really are. [Fat: 0 grams. Carbs: 32 grams. Calories: 130.]

Altogether, Number 23 brings 48 grams of fat, 154 grams of carbohydrates, and 1,240 calories to the table. Plenty for an active troop, and more than enough for an increasingly older and lethargic engineer.

I'm sold now, and will never forget that the M in MRE is for "Mmmmmm".